DECEMBER 2007

Volume 27, No. 5, DECEMBER, 2007

Front Page

• Mouse-festation at Day
  

Below are the runner-up editorials from the Editorial contest. Winners had their articles displayed in the paper. The first of these two articles is from Emerald; the second is from Kiwi.

John Madden, the Fraud

          Do you ever watch a football game on TV and find the announcers to be obnoxious? How many instances have you thought to yourself, “Wow, they can not be getting paid for this?” Well, John Madden is a picture perfect example of why people hate to watch football on TV. There is nothing that irritates me more than the football commentator, John Madden, and his frustrating little pen showing up on screen while I am trying to watch a football game. I try to enjoy the game as much as I can, but this man takes up half of the time allotted saying ludicrous, off-topic things. Then he tries to account for his ranting by drawing all over the screen with a yellow pen that has brought agony and anguish to football fans worldwide. I watch, and I think of how much of a besetment this individual is and how much more clearly sailing the game would be without him.
          One reason why this man pesters me so much is how much he is accepted for the very little aptitude he actually has. In other words, he is very hyped-up. His on-screen doodling and immutable maundering makes him one of the most annoying announcers alive. The guy won a Super Bowl, but anybody that had a steel curtain defense and a lefty quarterback in the seventies was certainly on a trek to win a Super Bowl. Besides, anyone that gets their name stamped on a video game title is definitely overrated. There is nobody in all of football commentary that is more unjustly popular than John Madden.
          This grey-haired, football genius gets under my skin even deeper because of the individualistic ideas mumbling from his ancient lips that are totally irrelevant to the current game. My dad and I try to enjoy the games in which he appears, but all we hear is not how good the last fifty-four yard touchdown run was, but rather how the opening kickoff of a game back in 1976 was fun to watch. Plus, nobody cares about what happened in 1976; they care about what they are supposed to be watching, football. That’s why we turn the channel to stations like ESPN, or Fox. Not because we want to listen to that numb nut, but because we want to watch football. He spends so much time talking about how great his Super Bowl season was that he doesn’t have any time to talk about what he is supposed to be talking about, the game. This really ticks me off. So I, and possibly the other millions of football fans, put robot lips on mute, and listen to the radio interpretation of the game.
          The very uncommon times that he does talk about the game you either can’t understand what the heck he is talking about or you simply can’t see it because the cyber-ink from that obnoxious little pen I mentioned earlier takes up the whole screen. His job is to show you the game then add smart comments about what you are watching; he obliterates both of his two jobs. Anytime someone takes up my precious TV time to talk how great they are is already one of my enemies. People watch football to be entertained by great athleticism and skill, not to be bored be some guy with a comb-over.

A Weak Laugh: Racism Hidden in Humor

“It was just a joke! What’s your problem?” The problem is how the sheer number of racist Asian jokes I’ve heard throughout my life is something to be ashamed of. The problem is how, out of that vast amount, I haven’t spoken up for myself and my race nearly enough. The problem is how racism can be seen everywhere but is overlooked nonetheless. As the years have passed, direct or violent ways to express racism have faded away and were replaced by a more subtle but equally hurtful approach—making them into jokes. Jokes that aren’t very funny, that is. Racism in all forms is no laughing matter, and no kind of racism should bring smiles or even be tolerated. Like a chronic sickness that spreads slowly but steadily, racist jokes can cause much hidden pain. And remember: early intervention saves lives.
          Why take on such a serious tone when the topic is “light”? The answer is simple. The topic just isn’t as “light” as many would like to believe. Sometimes, it’s true; a joke was just a joke. There was no harm intended, and it was only meant to entertain someone. Sometimes, the people who don’t tolerate these jokes are people who take humorous situations too seriously or people who are too sensitive. Then again, “sometimes” is never “always”. However innocuous a racist joke was intended to be, what people should realize is how the racism that formed its shamefully stable foundation throws the daggers anyway.
          An Asian American woman named Sandra Chen went to a comedy show where a white male comic entertained a primarily white audience. After a few dry cracks, he started telling vulgar racist jokes about Asians, as if he couldn’t think of any other material to use. Indeed, these jokes got him the hearty laugh he was looking for. Needless to say, Sandra Chen was infuriated. Immediately following the show, she requested for the host to remove his act, to no avail. The host just kept repeating the infamous, “It was just a joke” line and escalating in his intimidation until he even threatened to throw her out. Clearly the host and the audience didn’t care that they just downgraded all Asian-Americans to the status of second-class citizens for their own disgraceful entertainment.
          That was just one case out of an innumerable amount. On national television, Rosie O’Donnell, a famous comedian, pulled that terrible “Ching-Chong, I can speak Chinese” joke. She attempted to mimic the Chinese language by just repeating the words “ching-chong” over and over again. How would you feel if people thought your language was only comprised of two words and that all of your countrymen made idiotic faces when they spoke? For me, at least, it’s not a pleasant feeling. It puts me on the defensive; makes me feel stupid for something that I didn’t even do, nor my kinsmen. Making it seem like a language is just a few foolish phrases gives the impression that the language is just simple and something to make fun of, which in turn suggests that the people are simple as well. When a group called the Asian American Journalists Association (the AAJA) stated how discriminatory her comment was, O’Donnell’s representative replied that he “…hoped that someday they might be able to grasp her sense of humor”. Let me ask you this. Since when, and please tell me if I’ve missed the memo, was utterly mocking a language and its people funny?
          Even the Simpsons have made this irrevocable mistake. This show has often been hailed as a family-friendly hilarious romp, and it has well-deserved its love by many. Yet even so, racism was clearly evident. In one episode, the family was learning a so-called “Chinese traditional dance”. They, in fact, were jerking about like some bad imitation of a robot, and yelping complete gibberish. Homer had a bone stuck in his throat and he was doing “the dance” perfectly fine. Again, this makes it seem like Chinese people aren’t as sophisticated and learned compared to English-speakers, challenging the virtue of “All are created equal” that Americans are supposed to hold dear. Coming from someone who takes Chinese traditional dance classes, I know for a fact that the liquid-like movements are certainly more complex, elegant and graceful than that. If this isn’t considered a direct attempt to make fun of a culture, then I don’t know what is.
          “There’s a difference between poking fun at those who have always been in power, those who will always have the last word, and poking fun at those who have been consistently denied a voice.” That was one of the many thought-provoking quotes written in Sandra Chen’s own editorial about her experience. If laughter has the miraculous power to heal, if “laughter is the best medicine”, then why do we use it to hurt, the exact opposite? It’s precisely because so many people say, “It’s just a joke! You’re so sensitive!” that racism still festers on. Realizing this difference and making an effort to stop racism in its entirety is absolutely imperative. So the next time you hear a racist remark, speak up, even if you know you’ll get shot down. Know in your heart that you did humanity a great favor, and, at the very least, I would be one out of many to thank you. If we can douse out the fire of racism before it rages out of control, the future would thank us. But, as for now, the fire is burning just a little too brightly.

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